South Park
Wednesdays 10:00 PM on Comedy CentralSouth Park Season 4 Quotes
And now it's time for MTV News, the news that is single handedly responsible for dumbing down the nation. Which is cool.
Announcer
MTV Announcer: The band prepares for its biggest gig: Lollapaloodada.
Phil Collins: Nice to meet you, I'm Phil Collins.
Skylar: Oh yeah, you're opening for us at Lollapalazava.
Cartman: You know what you guys: we should go to the concert anyways, and see Phil Collins.
Kyle: Yeah, I think Phil Collins rocks the house.
(Chef shows the parents a video on non-medication treatment for ADD)
Dr. Shay: (on video) Hello, I'm Dr. Richard Shay, here to tell you about my exciting new drug-free treatment for children with Attention Deficit Disorder. (Several hyper and rambling children) This treatment is fast and effective and it doesn't use harmful drugs. Watch closely as I apply treatment to the first child. (SMACK) SIT DOWN AND STUDY! If you would like more information on my bold new treatments, please send away for this free brochure entitled: 'You can either calm down, or I can pop you in the mouth again.'
Chef: Hold on a second, you children want to go see Phil Collins?
Stan: Yes, his flowing melodies are really enjoyable to us.
Phil Collins: And now, I'd like to sing the complex and amazing song that won me the Oscar, a song entitled: 'You'll be in me.' Thanks. 'You'll be inside of me, deep inside of me. So deep inside, I can feel you pushing against my heart.'
(After taking the Ritalin antidote)
Stan: Wait a minute! Phil Collins sucks ass!
Kyle: Yeah! what the hell were we thinking? Boooooo!
Cartman: Hey you guys.
Kyle: Hey, fatass. How's prison?
Cartman: Well, it sucks balls. Whattaya think?
Stan: Cartman, why the hell did you have to commit a hate crime?! We're gonna lose to girls because of you!
Kyle: Yeah! So you gotta bust out of here. So, we made you this cake. There's an ail-nay ile-fay inside of it.
Cartman: What's that?
Kyle: Listen, aggot-fay. An ail-nay ile-fay so you can eak-bray out of ison-pray.
Stan: Yeah, you stupid umbass-day!
Cartman: I'd love to eat a cake, you guys, but they don't let us take anything back to the cells from here.
Kyle: They on't-day?! Why the ell-hay ot-nay?! It ook-tay our-fay ours-hay to ake-bay this oddamned-gay ake-cay, and ow-nay we're otally-tay ewed-scray!
(After Cartman has been released from jail)
Stan: Hey, Cartman's back!
(Clyde runs up and hugs Cartman then begins to weep)
Clyde: Oh thank you, thank you so much!
Cartman: Uh guys, what the hell's wrong with Clyde?
Kyle: We won! We won!
Butters: Yeah. Why we sure gave those skanky bitches what for.
Judge: I am making an example of you to send a message out to people everywhere: that if you want to hurt another human being, you'd better make damn sure they're the same color as you are.
