Station 19
Thursdays 10:00 PM on ABCStation 19 Season 4 Episode 1: "Nothing Seems the Same" Quotes
Sullivan: You’re not supposed to make any big life changes when you’re in early sobriety. I knew that; I was barely sober. And you, you were about to lose your dad. We had no business getting married.
Andy: So, so you regret it?
Sullivan: No, no, and I never will, but if I want to stay clean, we need some time apart.
Andy: 90 days.
Sullivan: Yeah.
Andy: Totally, totally separated?
Sullivan: But together.
If you’re watching this, my dad was probably your hero. He was mine. He was a great firefighter but an even better captain. He brought the best out of everyone by demanding nothing less. He was a natural leader as anyone who’s ever worked with him knows. He built great firefighters, future captains, maybe even future chiefs, but beyond that, he was the best father he could be, and that wasn’t easy to do, especially on his own. My dad was faced with some pretty terrible choices when I was a kid, but he did what he thought was best for me at the time, every time. He chose to protect me above all else, and while he may have made mistakes, I have no doubt he’d make them all again if he thought it was best for me.
Andy
Jack: Do you love her?
Dean: Love her? We’ve only been dating six weeks.
Jack: I’m not talking about Sasha.
Dean: I try not to.
Jack: You know what to do?
Dean: Do I?
Travis: I hate teenagers. I hated teenagers even when I was a teenager.
Vic: ‘Cause they’re so stupid?
Travis: ‘Cause they’re so stupid.
Andy: When you left, did he tell you he was going to say you were dead?
Elena: No, he asked what am I supposed to tell a 9-year-old girl about why her mother left her, and I said, ‘I don’t know. Tell her I’m dead.’ But I didn’t mean it, just like I didn’t mean to leave you that day.
Andy: But you did. You left. And my father made the decision it would be less painful for me to grieve you than to know you abandoned me.
Elena: I need you to understand this is the biggest shame of my life.
Andy: Biggest shame but not your biggest regret. You aren’t sorry; you’re not sorry are you?
Elena: Of course I am.
Andy: But you haven’t said that. You’ve said a lot of things tonight, but you haven’t said, ‘I’m sorry for leaving you and letting you think I was dead.’
Elena: I didn’t know.
Andy: You didn’t know that faking your own death would make me think that you were dead.
Elena: I didn’t fake anything, Andrea. I just left. Your father did the rest.
I got pregnant and I thought I was wrong. I was told I was wrong. I was told I would love being a mother. I was told the minute I held you in my arms that I would forget about every dream I had before you, but that didn’t happen. You were born and I loved you, but I also resented, and I resented your father for getting to do the one thing we both wanted to do. I was so depressed. I became unstable, self-loathing, angry, violent. That was a different time. No one ever talked about mental health back then, especially not for mothers. I felt hopeless. I felt like a failure. I wanted to die because there was no way out. There was not a way out that wouldn’t destroy you, but I loved you. I still love you, Andy.
Elena
Andy: Tell me again what my dad said to you before he went up that ladder.
Maya: He said tell Andrea…
Andy: Everything I did was because I loved her, right?
Sandra: Andrea, I’m sorry. I should have told you.
Andy: That my mother’s alive? That she faked her own death? That she let me believe…
Sandra: You called me 11 times. You said you wanted to talk. You said your father had lied to you. You said you found my letters.
Andy: I thought she killed herself. I… I wanted to see you. I missed you. I wanted to know why you left me after she died, why I never saw you again. Why I missed you.
Sandra: Mija, how could I? How could I see you? What could I have said? What could I have said that could be true?
Andy: Did my dad know? Did he know she was alive?
Sandra: That’s not my story to tell Andy. Your mother is here. She came a long way…
Andy: She came a long way. You want me to give her credit after 20 years, after 20 years?
Vic: How does someone even date during a pandemic?
Travis: Same as before. You just text each other for weeks until someone stops responding.
Maya: Hey, a reminder for the virtual memorial service for Capt. Herrera will take place this afternoon.
Vic: I can’t believe after all the crap we went through to get him his line of duty funeral we have to do it on the fricking internet.
Maya: Agreed.
Jack: Tell me again why we can’t just wait until after lockdown? He was cremated anyway.
Travis: ‘Cause we don’t know when after lockdown is going to be.
Jack: It can’t be more than a couple weeks, right?
Ben: Yeah, you keep telling yourself that.
Tucker: Mom.
Joey: Miranda.
Bailey: My boys. What? Benjamin Warren, you are a sight for sore eyes and back and feet. I miss you.
Ben: I miss you.
