Tom: Three months ago I was at a meeting about how to stop kids from giving each other handy jobs on the runaway ghost train, and now I'm about to manage a billion-dollar news budge, so it's all good.
Shiv: I have my first handjob on the ghost train.

Let me just make it very clear -- Kendall Roy is no longer relevant.

Stewy

I feel God-like and horny. Everybody looks like two-feet tall to me.

Tom

Greg: Being at ATN, you know, is kind of like the one thing I didn't want to do?
Tom: Oh, OK. Should I have left you at parks to sink? I mean, it's ATN man. It's the fuckin' news.
Greg: I know.
Tom: It's Logan's G-spot. I can finger-bang him all night long. I'm a direct, direct report. What?
Greg: Sure. Just? ATN, it's like, kind of against my principles?
Tom: Your principles?? Greg, don't be an asshole. You don't have principles.

Greg: Dude, ATN is a very toxic element in the culture.
Tom: Seriously, OK, then name me one principle that you have.
Greg: I don't, like, um, I'm against racism.
Tom: Bullshit! I'm against racism. Everybody's against racism! What else?
Greg: Like, don't lie.
Tom: Fuck off.
Greg: Like if you're the news.
Tom: Fuck off. That's your principle?
Greg: Yeah, dude!
Tom: Greg, this is not fucking Charles Dickens' world, OK? You don't go around talking about principles. We're all trying to do the right thing. Of course we are. But come on, man. Man the fuck up!

Gil: Listen, long road to travel and all of that, but the compass points to Pennsylvania Avenue. I have to start thinking about appointments. I'm thinking about Chief of Staff.
Shiv: Oh. Wow.
Gil: Yeah. I mean, can you imagine the look of fear in their eyes when they see you coming at them? Those corpulent, old, white fucks? Yeah. How's that for a carrot, hmm?

Syd: Logan doesn't set our news agenda.
Tom: No! Of course, he doesn't. I know! It's so weird, huh? He happens to own a news company, and they say exactly what he thinks!
Syd: If Logan had to tell me or any of my news editors what to run or what the angle was, we would be fucked! That is not how it works. This isn't mind control. We hire people who want to work here, and we serve a demographic of highly, highly intelligent viewers who are really tired of being patronized elsewhere by latte-sipping douchebags with hundred-dollar haircuts. You've got the cool job title. You've got freedom of movement. Why don't you take a look somewhere more comfy? Entertainment.

Roman: Gerri, come on. I need something. Kendall's doing shit.
Gerri: OK. How about this? You do shit. What have you got?
Roman: One idea. Pivot to video.
Gerri: Yeah, they already tried that.
Roman: Can you just come over? I want you in the room.

Can you check if Richard's turned off that fuckin' Alexa? Not just off. Unplugged. I've got enough spies after me without Bezos in here, too.

Logan

Logan: You're a young woman with no experience.
Shiv: A woman. That's, that's a minus.
Logan: Well, of course, it's a fucking minus! I didn't make the world!
Shiv: You make a small part of it!

Greg: The place is a time machine. It's like 45 minutes every time they need file, it's all the way at some warehouse in Queens.
Tom: OK... So?
Greg: So, I don't know. How come it isn't digitized? The whole of ATN. It's totally analog, Tom.
Tom: So, I could fire people, correct? If we did this? If we digitized?

Roman: We're gutting Vaulter.
Shiv: Oh yeah?
Roman: Yeah.
Shiv: Is that a good idea?
Roman: Fucking great idea. It's Kendall's baby, and now we're gonna burn it. [chuckles]

Succession Season 2 Episode 2 Quotes

Can you check if Richard's turned off that fuckin' Alexa? Not just off. Unplugged. I've got enough spies after me without Bezos in here, too.

Logan

Greg: Being at ATN, you know, is kind of like the one thing I didn't want to do?
Tom: Oh, OK. Should I have left you at parks to sink? I mean, it's ATN man. It's the fuckin' news.
Greg: I know.
Tom: It's Logan's G-spot. I can finger-bang him all night long. I'm a direct, direct report. What?
Greg: Sure. Just? ATN, it's like, kind of against my principles?
Tom: Your principles?? Greg, don't be an asshole. You don't have principles.