Ted Lasso
Wednesdays on Apple TV+Ted Lasso Season 2 Quotes
Jeremy: Have you ever been to Vegas?
Baz: What's Ted like behind closed doors?
Paul: How do you cope knowing the universe is infinite but your consciousness ends at the same time?
Beard: I've been to Vegas many times. One night is good. Two nights is perfect. Three nights is too many. Ted is a man, just a man. And as for the fragility of life, I'm so glad someone finally asked because, yeah, I got a few thoughts.
Beard is like the mailman. He always delivers and looks great in shorts.
Are you there God, it's me, Margaret's little boy, long time listener, first time caller.
Beard
There's someone in my life now who -- maybe it's chemicals, maybe it's pheromones -- I wanna be with her all her all the time. Is that love or do I just have a problem?
Beard
Ted: How is that not offside?
Beard: Because he was only passively offside.
Ted: I don't get this frigging rule, still.
I don't read the scouting reports you guys write. I've lied every time they've come up. They're boring, and I won't do it.
Roy
Bumbercatch: Isaac is an artist with those clippers.
Colin: He only gives you one haircut per season. You try to save that for a very special occasion.
Dani: I'm not using mine until I'm married. Or I get circumcised.
The only nice thing you can say about Richmond today is Sam Obisanya's hair looks absolutely fantastic.
Arlo
Ted, the truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off.
Sharon
Nate: You see, Jamie and Dani are like Picasso and Gauguin.
Colin: Pedophiles?
Nate: Artists, they're artists. And, Colin, you paint too, but your work doesn't end up in museums. It hangs at ... Well, you're like a painting at a Holiday Inn. You don't inspire. You don't move people. You're there. You cover a bloodstain. You do the job, so just do the job.
Keeley: I did also need some space.
Ted: Space from what?
Keeley: Roy. He's sitting in my office reading Da Vinci Code. He keeps muttering on about the Knights Templar.
Sharon: Well, I can't be your mentor without occasionally being your tormentor.
Ted: Ooh, I like that.
Sharon: I knew you would.
