Kelso: Autumn is harvest time for the farmer. At dawn, my dad and I were out in the fields, picking carrots fresh off the trees.
Hyde: Kelso, carrots don't... that's good, you should put that down.

Donna: So, what do you guys wanna do when you grow up?
Eric: Um, not touch dead people. Ever.

Oh, I am so excited to be in the food service industry. May I cut the cheese?

</i> Fez

When I go to the hospital, I like to not die.


Jackie: Look, I need to talk to someone. I can really use a friend right now.
Eric: Okay then well, good luck with that.

Donna: I have to go to the bathroom. Jackie?
Jackie: Oh my God, Donna, you have never asked me to go to the bathroom with you before!
Donna: Yeah, it's a big day.

Jackie: So Donna, tell me more about this pill. Does it do anything weird to your hair?
Donna: Only above your lip.

Jackie: Now I can forget about this whole ugly thing and never ever have to--
Donna (while shaking her violently): Jackie, I am not gonna let you forget about this!

What could be so important that you'd give up a week of whoring around Fort Lauderdale? Oh, I know. It's your grades, right? You're flunking out. Bingo! Forman scores, right?


Eric: I had a nice discussion with Red and Kitty about foreplay.
Donna: I'm really sorry Eric.
Eric: Yeah, me too.

Kitty (to Eric): Foreplay is very important.
Red: Oh, no it's not.
Kitty (to Red): Yes, it is.

Fez: How much masturbation is too much?
Hyde: No such thing as too much, Fez.

That 70's Show Quotes

Ricky: Where do you see yourself in five years?
Eric: Fatso Burger.
Fez: Covered in gold chains!
Kelso: Rock star. No, a movie star No, wait. Yeah. Rock star.
Hyde: Prison.

Eric: If my dad catches me copping beers he'll kill me.
Hyde: I'm willing to take that risk.