The Big Bang Theory
Thursdays 8:00 PM on CBSThe Big Bang Theory Quotes
Beverly: Your Check Engine light is on.
Penny: Yeah, I gotta put a sticker over that.
Excuse me, Leonard, I am the one who is getting a divorce; Mitzi is the one who is dead; why are you the one making a fuss?
Beverly
So, Howard, have you and Rajesh finally summoned the courage to express your latent homosexual feelings towards one another?
Beverly
Leonard: When we watch Frosty the Snowman, he roots for the sun.
Sheldon: Excuse me, but the sun is essential for all life on earth. Frosty is merely a bit of frozen, supernatural ephemera in a stolen hat. A crime, by the way, for which he is never brought to account.
Penny: You know, I could use a drink, you want to stop for a drink?
Beverly: Oh, I don't drink.
Penny: I do. I'll teach you.
Sheldon: It's doubtful that his mother will be over-impressed with a woman whose biggest achievement was memorizing the Cheesecake Factory menu.
Penny: Hey, it's a big menu! There's two pages just for desserts!
Leonard: And those specials, they change every day!
Penny: Okay, it's lame when I say it, it's just ridiculous when you pile it on.
Sheldon: It's a bust of Sir Isaac Newton.
Penny: Oh sure, sure. Very Christmasy.
Sheldon: Well, excuse me, it's much more Christmasy than anything you put on the tree.
Leonard: Here we go...
Sheldon: December 25th, 1642. Julian calendar. Sir Issac Newton is born. Jesus, however, was actually born in the summer. His birthday was moved to coincide with the traditional pagan holiday that celebrates the winter solstice with lit fires and slaughtered guts, which frankly sounds like more fun than twelve hours of Church with my mother, followed by fruit cake.
Penny: I always tear up when the Grinch's heart grows three sizes.
Sheldon: Tears seem appropriate. Enlargement of the heart muscle, or hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, is a serious disease which can lead to congestive heart failure.
That's all I know. Oh, wait! Fig Newtons were named after a town in Massachusetts, not the scientist.
Penny
Penny: Is that why they're called Fig Newtons?
Sheldon: No. Fig Newtons are named after a small town in Massachusetts. No, don't write that down!
Senior fitness was canceled; it turns out you can forget how to ride a bike.
Mrs. Wolowitz
It's not enough you get the prom queen, you have to get the head of the decorating committee, too?
Wolowitz
