The Big Bang Theory
Thursdays 8:00 PM on CBSThe Big Bang Theory Quotes
One bacon cheeseburger, breaking two Jewish dietary restrictions simultaneously.
Sheldon
Sheldon: Your cell phone was off.
Leonard: Because we didn't want to be disturbed!
Sheldon: Well that didn't work out, now did it?
I'm a walking, brown Yelp.com.
Raj
Penny, I told you if you don't put him in his crate at night, he just runs around the apartment.
Leonard
Sheldon: I asked myself what is the most mind-numbing, pedestrian job conceivable and three answers came to mind: a toll booth employees, an Apple store genius, and what penny does. Because I don't like touch other peoples' coins and I refuse to contribute to the devaluation of the word genius, here I am.
I haven't seen him this stuck since he tried to figure out the third Matrix movie.
Leonard
Wolowitz [about Sheldon]: How long's he been stuck?
Leonard: Intellectually about 30 hours, emotionally about 29 years.
Wolowitz: Have you tried rebooting him?
Leonard: No, I think it's a firmware problem.
Bozeman does have a comedy club called the Loony Bin. Please don't forward my mail there.
Sheldon
Oh, no, he's gonna telecommute. Everybody's really excited about it.
Leonard [about Sheldon]
Wonderful security system if we're attacked by a school of tuna.
Sheldon
I do not have to urinate. I am a master of my own bladder. Drat.
Sheldon
The four of you are three of my closest friends, and one treasured acquaintance.
Sheldon
