The Big Bang Theory
Thursdays 8:00 PM on CBSThe Big Bang Theory Season 9 Quotes
Raj: Oh, hey! High five!
Sheldon: Absolutely not.
Penny: Does the study say what happens to unpopular kids?
Leonard: You tell me. You woke up in bed with one.
He has glasses, and I'm a know it all. We're not built for prison.
Sheldon
Sheldon: How do we know you're not going to take the money and drive away?
Leonard: Whatcha doing, Skippy?
Sheldon: Exactly what 1970s crima dramas have taught us.
Howard: What was wrong with that guy?
Raj: Um, he's Indian. We've already got one of those.
Bernadette: You know who went on a date the other night? Stewart.
Penny: Oh, good for him.
Bernadette: I thought so too.
Penny: So is she like, homeless or framing him for a crime?
Raj: Why do you need Kripke? Can't you just go to Party City for helium?
Leonard: We'd have to go to every Party City in California.
Howard: Sounds like you on Cinco de Mayo.
Raj: Hey, people were still talking about that party on Siete de Mayo.
Kripke: In fencing, we don't call it a stab. We call it a touch.
Sheldon: Yes, I'm aware. But if I say I want to touch one of my friends, I'll get called into human resources.
Kripke: Before we start, I just want to warn you fencing isn't a joke. I hope you're not here because you think it's going to be like Star Wars.
Leonard: That's not why we're here.
Raj: Yeah, I'm here because I think it's going to be like Game of Thrones.
Penny: Leonard, sweetheart, you twisted your ankle playing Scrabble.
Leonard: I got a triple word score with a double letter Q. If that's not a time to bust out the Scrabble dance, what's the point of having one?
You had me at flag, lost me at football.
Sheldon
I was like the Tin Man, perfectly content until that evil wizard went and gave him a heart.
Sheldon
