Whatever progress I have made, it’s because you and I have become mates.


You know, I had a friend that said whenever she was doing something bad she’d hear this little voice in her head, a distant little voice saying, “Oh, come on. You know this is wrong.” And then when she started doing good things, that voice went away. It was a relief.


Eleanor: I gotta go home. What do I owe you?
Michael: The real question, Eleanor, is what do we owe to each other?

So, why do it then? Why choose to be good, every day, if there is no guaranteed reward we can count on, now or in the afterlife? I argue that we choose to be good because of our bonds with other people and our innate desire to treat them with dignity. Simply put, we are not in this alone.


Judge Gen: Now, Eleanor's test was about her selfishness, and she actually...
Eleanor: I failed. I shoved an old lady down the stairs to get to the raw bar because I'm a shrimp fiend. So, we all failed. Let's not dwell on it.

Okay, this is ridiculous. I'm just gonna choose. Brown. Gray is the obvious choice, which is probably why I shouldn't choose it. Brown. Nope. Gray. Nope. Brown. Brown hat.


The whole point of this afterlife test is that everyone in these rooms is supposed to be talking about me. And yet even in this scenario, you are still talking about Kamilah. Which is exactly the point. I was never going to be enough for you, never going to earn your respect.


Chidi: If this isn't a test, then it's something way worse!
Eleanor: What?
Chidi: A choice! That we have to make!

And I love your passion! I mean, it takes a lot of guts to just show up here unannounced. Plus, I haven't had a case in like 30 years and I'm super bored. So, it's either this or start Bloodline. And I don't know. I just don't feel like I can see Kyle Chandler as anyone else but Coach Taylor.

Judge Gen

I'm not scared of any burrito. I'll eat it. Unless the burrito is the judge!


Eleanor: So you can’t even lie to demons? They’re trying to torture us, man! We’re behind enemy lines!
Chidi: Well, principles aren’t principles when you pick and choose when you’re gonna follow them!

Michael: It's a torture museum: famous examples of bad behavior and explanations of the torture they earned.
Jason: Is there a gift shop?
Michael: Jason, this is hell. Of course there’s a gift shop.

The Good Place Quotes

Jason: Yo, yo! Homies, check it! There's something messed up with this place. We keep fighting with each other, none of the TVs get the NFL RedZone channel, my soulmate doesn't even know who Blake Bortles is. I know this sounds crazy, but I think we're in the bad place.
Michael: Jason figured it out? Jason? This is a real low point. Yeah, this one hurts.

Chidi: Where is everyone?
Eleanor: Who knows? Maybe they finally figured out clam chowder is disgusting, 'cause it's basically a savory latte with bugs in it.