The Good Place
Thursdays 9:00 PM on NBCThe Good Place Quotes
The judge agreed that the four of you don't need to take the test. Turns out, saving every soul in the universe is worth a few points.
Michael
I am a strong independent acid snake in the skinsuit of a strong independent woman.
Vicky
I'm upset because for hundreds of years I've had a job. First, it was finding a better way to torture humans, then helping them. Then, proving the system was broke, then teaching the demons how to roll a rock up a hill over and over. And then it kept rolling down, so I had to do it again. And then Vicky comes along with this rock-lifter thing and just lifts it to the top of the hill. Pushing the rock up the hill gave me a purpose. Who am I if the rock's gone?
Michael
Chidi: Maybe on paper, you and Janet don't make total sense. But, who cares? The relationship you have built together is wonderful. She knows you and loves you and that's all that matters.
Jason: Do you really believe that?
Chidi: Of course I do.
Jason: Hahaha! Sucker!
Chidi: Sorry?
Jason: I got you so bad! Dude, pretend what you just said was what you said to you instead of to me. And you have to listen to yourself because it was already in your own head and then came out. But just put it back in your head and realize that it was you talking about you and Eleanor!
Chidi: Against all odds, I know what you mean. And I gotta give it up. That was good.
The cruelty of the punishment does not match the cruelty of the life that one has lived.
Chidi
Fine, if you're gonna make me admit it. Fighting you is the most fun I've ever had.
Shawn
We need to come up with a system that will result in the least amount of cruelty and suffering to those who don't deserve it. This is a problem of justice.
Eleanor
Eleanor: I know you're trying to think of ways to save every soul who's ever lived and whatnot, but we may only have a half-hour left to exist, so I just wanted to check in with you vis-a-vis...us.
Chidi: Oh, okay. Yeah, cool. I love you.
Eleanor: Woah. Really?
Chidi: Yeah. I love you. So, do you love me?
Eleanor: Yeah! I do.
Chidi: Well, then cool. You and I are on our way to coolsville.
Eleanor: You seem oddly sure, which is unlike you. But it's kinda doing it for me.
If you agree to let the judge establish a real medium place, you can torture the four of us forever.
Eleanor
Your time on Earth won't be a test that you either pass or fail, but instead a class you take. And the test will come in the afterlife.
Eleanor
I kinda wish cute little Chidi just got to be a kid. Rather than a miniature professor trying to solve all the world's problems.
Eleanor
If soulmates do exist, they're not found. They're made. People meet, they get a good feeling, and then they get to work building a relationship. Like your parents. They didn't magically stay together because you proved they should.
Michael
