The Last Man on Earth
Sundays 9:30 PMThe Last Man on Earth Season 2 Episode 1: "Is There Anybody Out There?" Quotes
Carol: And this is Glen's room. He was trying not to get the virus. He got it. And this is Bernice's room. And that's her skeleton.
Phil: God, Carol...!
Carol: Oh, no, she studied anatomy.
Carol: And here's my parents - Carol and Marcia.
Phil: Oh, your dad was named Carol, too?
Carol: No, Marcia.
I mean, how many Speedy Pumps can there be? Damn it, there's infinity Speedy Pumps!!
Phil
(singing) World's largest plate's comin' up, I bet that Carol would love to see that stupid plate. But I'm really mad at her today because she's being a turd. So I'm not gonna tell her about that friggin' plate. Feelin' guilty now. (normal voice) Carol! World's largest plate comin' up, how's your appetite? You hungry for some plate? Carol? Supposed to be pretty big.
Phil
Another goose egg. Thanks a lot, Canary Islands. You couldn't give me, like, one living person. There's gotta be someone out there. Right, Terry? No comment? OK. Nancy, what about you? Wow, you guys... you guys are real quiet today. OK, I'm gonna go masturbate. Do me a favor, turn your guys' heads, please? Thank you. Plug your ears, too.
Mike
Carol: We should go back and get that bomb...
Phil: Carol... I knew you were gonna say that. I don't know how to put a bomb back in that little thingy!
Carol: We're Americans, we put a man on the moon!
Phil: Fine, if you wanna go back and get the bomb, we'll go back and get the bomb.
Carol: That won't be necessary, Phil, it's fine. Just the fact that you offered is good enough for me.
(to herself) Hm. Nice. Could use a little razzmatazz, though. Bam. "Oooh, Carol, where did you get such an expensive T-shirt? In the jewel markets of Monaco?"
Carol
