Favorite The Office Quotes
Ryan: Creed? Did you organize the menu book?
Creed: Oh, I thought that was more on a volunteer basis.
Ryan: No... it was mandatory.
Creed: Oh, I thought it was a volunteer thing.
(about Kelly) I hooked up with her on February 13th.
Ryan
Dwight: Who is Justice Beaver?
Jim: It's... a crime-fighting beaver.
Michael: Oh, and another fun thing. We, at the end of the night, are going to give the check to an actual group of Boy Scouts. Right, Toby?
Toby: Actually, I didn't think it was appropriate to invite children, since it's uh, you know, there's gambling and alcohol, it's in our dangerous warehouse, it's a school night, and you know, Hooters is catering, and is that - is that enough? Should I keep going?
Michael: Why are you the way that you are? Honestly, every time I try to do something fun, or exciting, you make it... not that way. I hate... so much about the things that you choose to be.
Bread is the paper of the food industry. You write your sandwich on it.
Dwight
Pam I have a loaded gun in my desk at work, and if I ever start acting like that weeny Gabe, I want you to take that gun and I want you to shoot me like a hundred times in the groin, until I'm dead. Okay?
Michael
Hey Pam? All that stuff with Kevin... pretty scary. I'm thinking that, uh, next time you're in the shower, you should check yourself out, you know, give yourself an exam. Those things are like ticking timebags.
Michael
I enjoy having breakfast in bed. I like waking up to the smell of bacon, sue me, and since I don't have a butler I have to do it myself. So, most nights before I go to bed, I will lay six strips of bacon out on my George Foreman Grill, then I go to sleep. When I wake up, I plug in the grill. I go back to sleep again, then I wake up to the smell of crackling bacon. It is delicious, it's good for me, it's a perfect way to start the day. Today I got up, I stepped onto the grill and it clamped down on my foot. That's it, I don't see what's so hard to believe about that.
Michael
One day Michael came in complaining about a speed bump on the highway. I wonder who he ran over then.
Jim
And then, my last job was at a Taco Bell Express. But then it became a full-time Taco Bell and... I dunno. I couldn't keep up.
Erin
I'm been noticing a gaping hole in my life. Sometimes, I wake up cradling a gourd.
Dwight
When I was in the 6th grade, I was a finalist in our school spelling bee. It was me against Raj Patel. And I mispelled, in front of the entire school, the word 'failure.'
Dwight
