Mister, I can't stand the sound of your voice!

Squeaky-Voiced Teen

Eat my shorts, young man!

Principal Skinner

Lisa: This is madness. He's just peddling a bunch of easy answers.
Carl: And how!

Brad Goodman: Let me hear what's troubling you. Don't be shy, yell it out. Everybody, go!
Mayor Quimby: I, er, can't commit to a relationship.
Mr. Burns: I'm too nice!
Apu: I have problems with--
Lenny: I'm always interrupting people!

Kids, kids...once you get hurt, move aside and let other people jump.


Mr. Burns: And I'm really enjoying this so called...iced cream!
Smithers: Sir, in the spirit of the festival and everything I'd just like to say that...I...love...you.
Mr. Burns: Hmm?
Smithers: In those colors!

Springfield will have it's first annual "Do What You Feel" festival this Saturday whenever you feel like showing up. It will be a welcome change to our "Do As We Say" festival, started by German settlers in 1946.

Kent Brockman

Bart: Lis', today I am a God!
Lisa: Is that why you're sitting on an ice-cream sandwich?
Bart: Eew!

Brad Goodman: We can all learn a lot from this young man here, this...this--
Bart: Rudiger.
Brad Goodman: Rudiger. And if we can all be more like little Rudiger--
Marge: His name is Bart.

Ned: (inner child) Stay the course, big Ned. You're doing super!
Homer: (inner child) Food goes in here! (talking) It sure does.
Moe: (inner child) Hey, Moe, what's-a-matter? You no talka with you accent no more. (talking) Mama Mia!

Brad Goodman: Troy. This circle is you.
Troy McClure: My god! It's like you've known me all your life!

Brad Goodman: Let's look at the rainbow. What's in there? Depression, insomnia, motor-mouth, darting eyes,indecisiveness, decisiveness, bossiness, uncontrollable falling down, geriatric profanity disorder or GPD, and chronic nagging...nagging...nagging... nagging...nagging.
Patty: (Punches TV) Sorry, it does that sometimes.

The Simpsons Season 5 Episode 7 Quotes

You may remember me from such self-help videos as "Smoke Yourself Thin" and "Get Confident, Stupid."

Troy McClure

Groundskeeper Willie: (Speaking into a microphone) If elected mayor, my first act will be to kill the lot of ya, and burn yer town to cinders!
(A man whispers something into his ear.)
Groundskeeper Willie: I know it's on!