Jimbo: Your fists are sisters?
Dolph: Yeah, Pocahontas and Sacagawea!
Bart: Nice save.

• Permalink: Your fists are sisters? Yeah, Pocahontas and Sacagawea! Nice...
• Added: November 28, 2011

Take us out first. Anyone can start a family. These days no one can find a job.

Mr. Burns

• Permalink: Take us out first. Anyone can start a family. These days no on...
• Added: November 28, 2011

I'll get one those jobs where you don't need to read. Like french fry maker or general.

Bart

• Permalink: I'll get one those jobs where you don't need to read. Like fren...
• Added: November 28, 2011

Homer: Can you be my dad?
Robert: If your mom was a secretary, there's a good chance I am.

• Permalink: Can you be my dad? If your mom was a secretary, there's a good...
• Added: November 28, 2011

Robert: There ain't enough bourbon in kentucky for you big guy.
Homer: Yeah, the governor wrote me a letter to that effect.

• Permalink: There ain't enough bourbon in kentucky for you big guy. Yeah, ...
• Added: November 28, 2011

Robert: I have to warn you, account men have no souls.
Homer: Woohoo! No more church!

• Permalink: I have to warn you, account men have no souls. Woohoo! No more...
• Added: November 28, 2011

In two weeks the only tie I'll be wearing will be for auto asphyxiation.

Robert Marlow

• Permalink: In two weeks the only tie I'll be wearing will be for auto asphy...
• Added: November 28, 2011

Why can't i be funny with just my words? Bill Maher doesn't put dangerous things near his crotch. Except when he's off work.

Krusty

• Permalink: Why can't i be funny with just my words? Bill Maher doesn't put ...
• Added: November 28, 2011