The Simpsons
Sundays 8:00 PM on FOXThe Simpsons Quotes
Well, here I am, right on time. I don't see Barney "Let's crash the rocket into the White House and kill the President" Gumble...
Homer
Compadres, it is imperative that we crush the freedom fighters before the start of the rainy season. And remember, a shiny new donkey for whoever brings me the head of Colonel Montoya. (Smithers whispers to him) And by that, I mean, it's time for the worker of the week award.
Mr. Burns
Scientist: Maybe we should finally tell them the big secret -- that all the chimps we sent into space came back super-intelligent.
(A chair swivels round, revealing a Chimp in a suit)
Chimp: No, I don't think we'll be telling them that.
The only danger is if they send us to that terrible Planet of the Apes. Wait a minute... Statue of Liberty... that was our planet! You maniacs! You blew it up! Damn you! Damn you all to Hell!
Homer
Scientist: Gentlemen, I'd like you to meet the two experienced astronauts who will accompany the winner into space, Race Banyon and Buzz Aldrin, the second man on the moon.
Buzz: Second comes right after first!
Default? Woohoo! The two sweetest words in the English language!
Homer
Lisa: Come on, Dad. You can make it!
Grampa: Oh, of course he'll make it, it's TV.
Well, this reporter was ... possibly a little hasty earlier and would like to reaffirm his allegiance to this country and its human president. It may not be perfect, but it's the best government we have. For now.
Kent Brockman
(on the phone) Hello, is this NASA? Good! I'm sick of your boring space launches! And another thing! How come I can't get no Tang around here?
Homer
Buzz Aldrin: So Barney, we hear you're kickin' ass.
Homer: I, uh, don't think this contest is over yet Buzz. If that is your real name. I believe there is still a little something called the swimsuit competition.
Buzz Aldrin: There's no swimsuit competition, Homer.
Homer: You mean I shaved my bikini zone for nothing?
NASA Scientist: Sir, we've run into a serious problem with the mission. These Nielsen ratings are the lowest ever.
NASA Executive: Oh, my God! We've been beaten by "A Connie Chung Christmas."
Don't ask me! I'm just a girl! Hee hee hee! Hee hee hee!
Malibu Stacy Doll
