Homer: I don't even want your pie!
Mona: But you already ate the whole thing.
Homer: Well, I'm not going to digest it!

I like creating disappointment. You know that little moment when people's hope dies? I feed on that.

Moe

(to Lisa) Seymour Skinner never puts all his eggs in one basket. That's why they call me "Two Basket Skinner." (pause) What? They do.

Principal Skinner

Lisa: No toupees.
Homer: Whaaat, I'm going for the Shia LaBeouf thing. Not quite a nerd, not quite a hunk. Shia LaBeouf!

Marge: Thank God they're not jeering at us anymore.
Homer: I know. (pause) Kinda miss it.
Bart: I know! We'll be in another movie. And this time we'll act really bad!
Marge: No more Simpsons movies! One was plenty.

Hey, Nelson! Say something poor!

</i> Man

Call me old-fashioned, but I usually don't like movies that humiliate our family in front of the world.

Marge

I never wanted to be famous for being mean. I wanted to be famous for catching Santa Claus.

Homer

Jim Jarmusch: I can eat a raw onion without crying.
Homer: Oh yeah? Prove it, Hollywood!
(Jim Jarmusch eats an onion and tears up)
Homer: Hey, you're crying!
Jim Jarmusch: Yes, but I'm crying about something else.

I like to cry at the ocean, because only there do my tears seem small.

</i> Nelson

(about the Springfield Creative Arts School)The whole school is made up of modeling clay! Every afternoon, they re-shape it just to get my goat!

Superintendent Chalmers

Mom, they're gonna kill Lou and make him into food and fringe vests for gay cowboys!

Bart

The Simpsons Season 19 Quotes

Why do I need another penny? I have billions. Still, if I don't take it, that hoodlum over there might.

Mr. Burns

Homer: One small coffee, please. And a bunch of those placemats with the mazes on them.
Pimple-Faced Kid: They're all the same maze.
Homer: Somebody's gotta do 'em.