Bart: Hey everybody, If you look real close, you can kinda make him out!
Homer: Hey yeah yeah! I think I can!
Marge: I think this is sick they're staring at a dot!
Homer: She's right! She's right! Oh I miss TV, dear God! Just give me one channel.

Teacher: Simpson! Be quiet!
Homer: I haven't seen you in school before...
Teacher: Okay Simpson! You just brought yourself another day of detention!
Homer: Maybe we should get together some time
Teacher: Two days!
Marge: I'm sorry, I don't even know your name!
Homer: I'm Homer
Teacher: Three days!
Homer: Jay
Teacher: Four days!
Homer: Simpson
Teacher: Five days!
Homer: It was worth it!
Teacher: Six days... Okay Simpson, to the back of the room!

(Picture on television goes haywire)
Bart: Hey, what gives?
Lisa: Dad! Do something!
Homer: Alright, alright. Time for Doctor TV to perform a little surgery! (Bangs on the TV and the picture gets worse.)
Bart: Looks like you lost the patient, Doc.

Me in a nuclear power plant? (Laughs) Kaboom!

Homer

Hello classmates. Instead of voting for some athletic hero, or a pretty boy, you have elected me, your intellectual superior as your king. Good for you!

Artie Ziff

Dr. Hibbert: Um, your wife agreed that I should break this to you.
Homer: No need, Doc. I can read Marge like a book. (Looks at Marge, who is very glum.)
Marge: Hmm.
Homer: Ooh, it's good news, isn't it?

Chefs: (All yell in Japanese.)
Simpsons: Aaaah!
Waitress: Please, do not be alarmed, our chefs are just saying hello.
Homer: Oh, okay. Hello!

Homer: If I said `no' the first time, what makes you think I'm going to say `yes' the second time?
Lisa: Nothing, but you may say `yes' the ninety-ninth time.
Homer: Oh? Try me.
Lisa: Please, Dad.
Homer: No.
Lisa: Please, Dad.
Homer: No.
Lisa: Please, Dad.
Homer: No.
Lisa: Please, Dad.
Homer: No.
Lisa: Please, Dad.
Homer: No.
Lisa: Please, Dad.
Homer: Oh, okay, okay.

Homer: Poison? What should I do, what should I do? Tell me, quick.
Chef: Oh, no need to panic. There's a map to the hospital on the back of the menu.

(Imitating Lisa) Try something new, Homer! What'll it hurt you, Homer? (Regular voice) I never heard of a poison pork chop!

</i> Homer

Goodbye, Maggie. Stay as sweet as you are. Goodbye, Lisa. I know you'll make me proud. Goodbye, Bart. ... I like your sheets.

Homer

Moe: Hello, Moe's Tavern. Birthplace of the Rob Roy.
Bart: Is Seymour there? Last name Butts.
Moe: Just a sec. Hey, is there a Butts here? A Seymour Butts? Hey, everybody, I wanna Seymour Butts! Wait a minute... Listen, you little scum-sucking pus-bucket! When I get my hands on you, I'm gonna pull out your eyeballs with a corkscrew!

The Simpsons Season 2 Quotes

Mr. Burns: (reading Homer's letter) "Dear Mr. Burns. I'm so glad you enjoyed my son's blood, and your card was just great." Why Simpson, you've made my day, you're a true gentlemen.
Homer: Well I-
Mr. Burns: Hello, there's more. (continues reading) "In case you can't tell, I'm being sarcastic. You stink! You are a senile bucktoothed old mummy with bony girl arms and you smell like an elephant's butt!"

(At Moe's, the guys try to get Homer to tell his story about moving to Capital City.)
Barney: So, Homer, what happened in Capital City?
Homer: Oh, Barney.
Moe: Come on, Homer. We're dyin' of curiosity.
Homer: Look, there's only one thing worse than being a loser. It's being one of those guys who sits in a bar telling the story of how he became a loser. And I never want that to happen to me!
Barney: Please, Homer?
Moe: Yeah, come on, Homer.
Homer: Well, okay. It all started on Nuclear Plant Employee, Spouses and No More Than Three Children Night, down at Springfield Stadium