The Simpsons
Sundays 8:00 PM on FOXThe Simpsons Season 2 Quotes
D'oh! How much longer was Sherbert planning on making this piece of junk?
</i> Homer
Ladies and gentlemen, the ten-year-old who's brave and bold! When he's not in class, he's risking his ass, the world's greatest daredevil, Bart Simpson!
Announcer in Bart's dream
Bones heal, chicks dig scars, and the United States of America has the best doctor-to-daredevil ratio in the world.
Lance Murdoch
Homer: This is Thanksgiving, so glue friendly or else I'll take away the glue and then nobody will have any glue to glue with!
Lisa: Dad, this isn't about glue, it's about territoriality. He only wants the glue because I'm using it.
Bart: Oh yeah, prove it (she hands him the glue) Hey man, I don't want your stupid glue.
Let's go! If I'm not back at the home by nine they declare me legally dead and collect my insurance!
Grampa
At the risk of losing my voice, let me just say one more thing... (Everyone listens carefully) ...I'm sorry I came.
Jacqueline
See Maggie, those silver-and-blue guys are the Dallas Cowboys. They're Daddy's favorite team. And he wants them to lose by less than five and a half points. Understand?
Homer
Marge: Mom, you made it! How are you?
Jacqueline: I have laryngitis. It hurts to talk, so I'll just say one thing: You never do anything right.
Homer: And lord, we're especially thankful for nuclear power, the cleanest safest energy source there is. Except for solar, which is just a pipe dream. Anyway, we'd like to thank you for the occasional moments of peace and love our family's experienced. Well, not today, you saw what happened! Oh lord, be honest! Are we the most pathetic family in the universe or what?
Family: Amen.
Selma: Worst prayer yet.
Lady: Hey, you gotta be eighteen to sell your blood, lets see some ID.
Bart: Here you go, doll face!
Lady: Okay, Homer, just relax.
Patty: When is that boy going to apologize?
Selma: He sure is stubborn.
Grampa: Homer was never stubborn. He always folded instantly over everything. It was as if he had no will of his own. Isn't that true, Homer?
Homer: Yes, dad!
Oh we have lots of names for these people. Bums, deadbeats, losers, scums of the earth, we'd like to sweep these people into the gutter, or if already in the gutter, to some other out of the way place. Oh we have our reasons. They're depressing, their ragged clothes, they're crazy, they smell bad. So every year on one conscience salving day, we toss these people a bone. A turkey bone. And that's supposed to make it all better.
Kent Brockman
