I need to borrow a book. Maxwell family tell-all. Guess it's been out of print for a while.

Damon

Bonnie, I've failed you in so many ways as a mother, but I will not let you destroy yourself.

Abby

Stefan: Bonnie.
Bonnie: There's nothing you can say.

Enzo: Bit harsh, love.
Bonnie: I didn't know you were here.
Enzo: Well, when you're in this state, it's quite easy.
Bonnie: He earned it, I hate him.

Yeah, well you get the idea. Crushed it, literal mic drop.

Kai

Kai: Anything else?
Stefan: Damon.
Kai: Aww, that is so sweet, I'll be sure to tell him you were thinking of him when you died.

Sorry, this place had the nearest holding cell.

Damon

Damon: Sorry, Blondie, probably best if you don't know.
Caroline: Great, another Salvatore brother freezing me out.

Enzo: Are you happy?
Bonnie: Right now? Yes, perfectly.
Enzo: Then why not forgive Stefan?
Bonnie: Do you really have to ask?

Damon: It's suicide, Stefan, and if you screw this up, we don't know what he'll do to Elena.
Stefan: I'm sorry Damon, but I have to do this.
Damon: I'm sorry, too, but I can't let anything happen to her, or you.

Hey, are you part of my Uber pool?

Uber customer

Alright professor, how do we get rid of the Queen of Hell?

Damon

Vampire Diaries Quotes

Oooh, you know I don't know. Every time we try and go on a date you get kidnapped, I get sent to a prison world, or your feelings get compelled away...

Damon

Damon: My new girlfriend. Andie Starr. Action News.
Alaric: It's not called Action News.
Damon: I know. I like just saying it.