Katherine Pierce's chickens come home to roost in the form of chickens. That's kind of brilliant.

Stefan

Aaron: Are you cleaning the fireplace?
Caroline: Yeah. You know. All those carcinogens.

Elena and Damon. Damon and Elena. I know there's a nickname in there somewhere.

This is my "you're being a dick" face."

Stefan

Damon: You once told me that calling me "Satan" was an insult to Satan.
Caroline: Well... no one's perfect.

Elena/Katherine: Isn't this weird for you?
Stefan: It's incredibly weird. But I know my brother, and I know he's better with you than without you.

Enzo: Do you wanna kill him or should I?
Damon: I hate deadlines.

It felt really good to kiss him. So, then, I kind of, sort of... had sex with him.

Caroline

I walked out last time. Now it's your turn.

Tyler [to Carolin]

You are literally the best person I've ever known. And for me to think I could ever change you was giving me way too much credit and you way not enough… you're the good. And I need a little good in my life.

Damon [to Elena]

How's my dress? It screams safe and predictable. Am I right? Or am I right?

Stefan: Define "out."
Damon: One who hovers and sticks his nose in other people's business. Wait... I was defining "annoying."

Vampire Diaries Quotes

Oooh, you know I don't know. Every time we try and go on a date you get kidnapped, I get sent to a prison world, or your feelings get compelled away...

Damon

Damon: My new girlfriend. Andie Starr. Action News.
Alaric: It's not called Action News.
Damon: I know. I like just saying it.