Angie: Shh! Are you drunk?
Reagan: Yes! Are you drunk?
Angie: Yes!

My mother lives in a houseboat with a jazz drummer she makes me call Captain.

Ava

Angie: We put a lot of time and effort into naming yours.
Reagan: A bobo?
Chris: All my parents talk about is football and Regis, so.

Angie: Where do you keep your ghee?
Reagan: Mom you know i don't have ghee. Nobody has ghee.

Big D you fat bastard! He's never going to get to see iPhone 5!

Chris

Ava: Attention, my co-working family.
Reagan: She doesn't know who Dale is. She doesn't know who anyone is.

Life is so short especially mine.

Chris

We drank a nine dollar bottle of wine and now there's another human being on the Earth.

Reagan

Reagan: Honey I am having a baby in two weeks. You must accept this now and stop pretending I just got fat.
Ava: Oh chubby chubby chubby.

Missy can you cut your hair please. We are neither in a little house nor in a prairie.

Ava

It's like hair coming out of hair!

Reagan

Chris: She doesn't look very happy.
Reagan: Does this woman not own a hair brush?

Up All Night Season 1 Quotes

Who knows, maybe I'll get the old Nordic Track out.

Chris

Reagan: Stop saying baby in there, like there's a baby hiding in the closet with a knife or something.
Chris: Why are we whispering?