Venture Brothers
Sundays 11:30 PM on Cartoon NetworkFavorite Venture Brothers Quotes
Brock: Back to the high-n-tight huh?
Hank: Yeah, I feel like the Jewish guy who lost all his powers when they cut all his hair off.
Brock: Samson?
Hank: Lenny Kravitz.
Baron Underbheit: You have to give me this one. I've loathed Venture ever since college.
The Monarch: Oh, who hasn't, Ãœnderpants? What makes your case so special?
[Baron points to his jaw]
The Monarch: Wow, you mean he did that? How?
Baron Underbheit: Where I come from, a lab partnership is a sacred trust. One is always suppose to look out for one's lab partner. Venture did not.
The Monarch: Fine, fine. But you have to understand you can't waltz into the middle of a delicate, high-stakes chess tournament and yell, "King me!" 'cause he bitched up your face
Mr. Brisby [about his panda]: Oh that, that's just Lili, enjoying her lunch.
Dr. Venture: Lili?
Mr. Brisby: Yes, my long time companda. I won her from David Bowie in a trivia contest. This was 1980, 1981 perhaps. Years before the big trivia craze. But then, Bowie always was a trend-setter
Dr. Venture [about Orpheus' cat]: Oh, she's an affectionate little one.
Dr. Orpheus: Oh my apologies, she's in heat.
Dr. Venture: I heard if you take a q-tip and moisten it with warm water...
Dr. Orpheus: Ohhhh! I tried that once, it was horrible. I couldn't look at her for a week. She was just a walking reminder of our common shame.
Dr. Venture: Oh dear God, that's not your wife in some like, magical animal form
Brock: You get the boys... I'll take care of these guys...
Dr. Venture: Are you sure? There's an awful lot of them.
Brock: They hit me with a truck..
Triana: Who's that big guy who's always washing his car in front of your place?
Dean: Oh, that's Brock. He's my dad's bodyguard. One time, I saw him kill a guy with a sock full of party snaps!
Triana: Did the guy's head get blown off?
Dean: Yes it did
Brock: Nice rescue, boys. You saved me from the only woman I've ever loved with a hat that smells like a men's room and we're still here.
Dean: We totally blew it.
Brock: No, that's not what I mean. I'm impressed with your spirit, I just wish you'd thought it out a little better.
Hank: Okay, Brock, I admit there may be some small holes in our plan
Ah! You're getting face all over me! Hot melting face!
Dr. Venture
Soldier #2: Who was that?
Soldier #1: Brock f***in' Samson!
Soldier #2: No way! Dibs on his cigarette butt!
Greetings, Pumpkin, I am at Mr. Venture's lab to right that which is wrong and to repair the torn curtain of time itself! There are four puddings in the fridge. You may enjoy the contents of one of them. Dinner at six
Dr. Orpheus [leaving a message]
Dr. Venture: Well, that ought to take care of that . . .
Hank: Look! Brock still ain't done with him. [Brock pisses on the mummy] That's showing him who's boss, Brocko!
Dr. Venture: Was that really necessary?
Brock: You have to defile a mummy completely or they come back to life. You know that
So you see, by applying the basic principles of the scientific method to the matter, we learn very quickly that the myth of the chupacabra is just that - utter crap. Now, if you apply the same principles to Catholicism, an interesting thing occurs...
Dr. Venture
