Wilfred Quotes
Wipe that smirk off your face and listen to this Kant.
Jesus, put down the bong and pick up a book.
So when Jenna leaves the house and I can't see her anymore, she doesn't cease to exist, she's just somewhere else? No, no, no, no. That's just crazy.
Ryan: Read a book or something.
Wilfred: A book? Yeah right. Maybe if it had pictures...that moved...and sound...and Matt Damon in it...and in the middle of the movie Matt Damon'd be like (makes gun noises)...now there's a book I'd like to read.
I've heard of trauma causing blindness, like when Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles walked in on each other masturbating.
This is all your fault. How come every time I follow you somewhere I lose my wallet?
Ryan
You just put a footprint on the Mona Lisa. Did you see the swirl on that masterpiece? The form, the texture, the taper of pinch point? What do I bother? You don't know shit.
Ryan: What's that?
Wilfred: Baby food. Might as well get used to it. This is what it's gonna be like three months from now.
I'm such an idiot for not duct taping a pizza cutter to the end of Arturo's penis!
How many innocent babies have to survive before we put an end to this senseless nurturing?
Maybe I should take out a restraining order...from my pocket, to use as a bargaining chip to trade for my baby-getting stick.
How did you scale that giant wall? That's impossible. Are you secretly some sort of magical other worldly entity? Cause I'd tell you if I was.
