You're the Worst
Wednesdays 10:30 PM on FXXYou're the Worst Quotes
Tell me whose nut I should suck on. I got kicked out of the shelter again for fighting.
Cory
Bernadette: Seems more like a get-together.
Gretchen: It's a goddamn party.
Bernadette: O-kay, Gretchen...
Amy: I wanted to hear it from the ol' horse's mouth.
Lindsay: Are you calling me an old horse?
Paul: We didn't want to ambush you...
Lindsay: What the farts?
Amy: Hi, Lindsay!
Gretchen: You're so getting murdered.
Lindsay: I know.
The really sad thing is, the whole time she was being dragged towards the on ramp, she was texting Connor!
Paul
Friends are for babies.
Jimmy
This gay porn site pays me ten bucks a dick. (gasps) I have a job!
Lindsay
I can't believe she's pregnant again. What a dummy. I wonder how much an abobo even costs these days!
Gretchen
Sales clerk: Did you find everything you need?
Gretchen: Why. yes I did, thank you. And, like, 20 things I didn't know existed. Little dryer balls that beat the shit out of your clothes? A banana holder? Get off the counter banana, you fancy now. And I'm gonna make my own soda! Can I make champagne? Don't know, gonna try.
Lindsay: That's why you need stuff, Gretch. To stake your claim. Get your shit up in those crevasses. Besides, stuff is the best. You can never get lonely with stuff. And there are so many examples of stuff: ice cube trays shaped like high heels, towels, smaller towels for your butt, chairs, which I guess are also for your butt...
Gretchen: I can't do it, I can't buy stuff.
Lindsay: Why?
Gretchen: It's like my old stuff was just stuff I accrued over time, crap I stole during my shoplifting days, shit I inherited from that old lady who thought I was her granddaughter. And now I have to completely furnish, from scratch, the life of an adult woman and I have no clue how to do that.
