The miracle I'm most famous for is turning water into wine. Ca...

(Stan asking Jesus for help with defeating Blaine)
Jesus: The miracle I'm most famous for is turning water into wine.
Stan: Can you do it again?
Jesus: Very well. I shall perform the miracle. Behold, here you can see ordinary water, clear, clean. Okay now turn around.
(Stan surprised)
Turn around.
(Stan turns around and Jesus replaces the jug of water on the table with a jug of wine)
It is now wine!
Stan: That's it? That's how you did that trick?
Jesus: Uh, well, yeah.
Stan: That trick sucks Jesus.
Jesus: Oh, I guess it worked a little better on people 2,000 years ago.


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Characters:
Stan Marsh, Jesus
Episode:
South Park Season 5 Episode 3: "Super Best Friends"
Show:
South Park
Related Quotes:
Stan Marsh Quotes, Jesus Quotes, South Park Season 5 Episode 3 Quotes, South Park Quotes
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South Park Season 5 Episode 3 Quotes

Kyle: (whispering) Cartman. Cartman, wake up. Cartman.
Cartman: (wakes up abruptly, knocking Kyle off his bed) No, Paula Poundstone! Leave me alone! Uh! Uh?
Kyle: It's just me.
Cartman: (Cartman realizes he's at the camp with Kyle and sighs) Brother Kyle? Why do you disturb my rest?

Blaine: Damn you, Super Best Friends!
Jesus: Your magic is no match for our powers combined, Blaine!
Blaine: (gets in a rocket) Then I guess you win this time, Super Best Fools! But I'll be back! (launches the rocket and flies in the sky)
Jesus: Damnit!
Buddha: It's alright. Everything is as it should be.
Jesus: Oh, shut up, Buddha!

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