Two thirds of my house can't do what a billion Chinese do.

Jay [on Gloria and Manny's lack of bike-riding skills]

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Jay Pritchett
Modern Family Season 2 Episode 11: "Slow Down Your Neighbors"
Modern Family
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Modern Family Season 2 Episode 11 Quotes

Phil: She has to run everyday or she goes crazy, she's like a Border Collie.
Claire: Did you just compare me to a dog?!?
Phil: The smartest in the world!

Cam: There's a stranger in our hot tub.
Mitchell: Who is it?
Cam: You do know what stranger means, don't you?