While this is painful for me, that pain is a minute. Your pain is the long haul because now you know what it feels like to truly hurt someone. See, for the sociopath who has no empathy, torture is easy, but for the best operatives, when it is them under the water under the rack, the rope, the knife, they'll remember somewhere inside that their torturer is a person who feels the same guilt, shame, and discomfort that they do. There are no two sides to this. Everyone goes through it to know how to use it. No one gets away with it.

Owen