(Nelson finds out Michael's dad is Fat Tony.)
Nelson: Your dad's a mob boss? (Laughs nervously) Please don't have me whacked! I was just kiddin' around! We were all havin' fun. Wasn't it fun? (Laughs nervously) Oh, fun is so fun. (Laughs nervously) There is no Mafia!
(Nelson pulls his own shirt over his face.)
Nelson: Columbus Day is better than Christmas!

Nelson Muntz
The Simpsons Season 18 Episode 1: "The Mook, the Chef, the Wife and Her Homer"
The Simpsons
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The Simpsons Season 18 Episode 1 Quotes

(On the way to school, Otto stops the bus and offers Metallica a ride; their tour bus has broken down.)
Otto: So what are you waiting for? Hop in.
James Hetfield: (Chuckles) Hop in what?
(The school bus peels away with Bart at the wheel.)
Bart: Look at me, I'm Otto! I'm a hundred years old and I drive a school bus!
Otto: Oh, man. Maybe me and Metallica can go splitsies on a cab.
(Hans Moleman slowly drives by in a pickup truck, with Metallica and their gear in the bed of the truck.)
Kirk Hammett: Hey, loser, we got a ride from a real fan!
Hans Moleman: I used to sleep with Lars' grandmother.
Robert Trujillo: Never listen to our music again!
(Hans Moleman pulls away as Metallica plays an instrumental from the song, "Master of Puppets.")

Wow, your paintings have brush marks. (Gasps) And your statues have weiners!

</i> Homer