Accidentally on Purpose Quotes

Zack: [Billie’s] douche ex-boyfriend got me thinking that I am way over my head. Dr. Roland: Well, douche ex-boyfriends are known for…

Davis: Actually, I enjoy the word jumble. I think I’d be really good at writing those. James: Are you finished? Davis: You mean, am I…

Olivia [to Davis]: Maybe I should just put a bag over your head, drive you to the middle of the woods, and we can talk there

Ryan: You’re gonna close your eyes. We’re gonna spin you around. Now, whoever you take a picture of, you gotta try and nail. Zack: Wait,…

Billie: I tossed [Zack’s] room. Abby: You did not! Billie: Oh, but I did. I tossed it like a prison guard looking for crack

Billie: Are people staring at me because I just broke up with the boss and accidentally got impregnated by a 22-year-old on a futon? Or,…

Zack: Can you believe that guy? Davis: Yeah, he’s like a really handsome Darth Vader

Billie: I have to think of my future. I want a husband one day. One with a checking account and… a toothbrush he acquired via purchase…

Zack: You said you were thirty-two. Billie: That was when I thought I was never going to see you again

Abby: Didn’t you use condoms? Billie: I guess it turns out they’re not 100% effective unless you actually take them out of your purse….