Better Off Ted Quotes

Veronica: Oh, God, we have unhappy Germans. Nothing good has ever come from that.

Ted: Veronica is late for our big meeting with the Germans, who, of course, are right on time. What? It’s a positive stereotype.

Veronica: Because I’m good at everything I do. I’m not bragging, because bragging is the one thing I’m not good at. Although, if I wanted…

Veronica: Do you live here? Do all the cubicle workers have little hobbit holes like this? Linda: No, some of us nest in trees, others…

Veronica: We believe the multi-language translator will create a furor in Germany, a furor that will sweep across Europe, crushing… no.

Lem: Oh, my God. Maybe we’re evil scientists. Phil: (laughing manically) I’m sorry. I laugh like that when faced with an unpleasant…

Lem: We don’t create evil things. Ted: Some might see this long-range people-skinning laser as evil-ish. Phil: Well, that was only…

Ted: And listen. The Germans are all worried because, ironically, they think that Veridian is ruthlessly efficient and bent on world…

Veronica: So you’re going to be in a room filled with weak, malleable children, and a man is going to bring in a toy. When he does,…

Lem: Now we’re on to how you’re gonna fix it. Patricia: I can’t tell the company. They’ll put something in my food that makes me…