Better Off Ted Quotes

Phil: Have you ever noticed how much of men’s lives are spent trying to trick women into touching something?

Veronica: So Pete’s project is testing today. I want to burn his diaper and salt the earth beneath it so no new product will ever grow…

Veronica: Well, you are eager and desperate for my approval. And that’s two of the three qualities I look for in a partner.

Linda: You make no sound when you walk. Veronica: Then I am ready to leave the monastery and avenge my parents. I’m kidding. I just buy…

Commercial: Veridian Dynamics. Doing the right thing. It’s important. What does it mean in business? We have no idea. We know what wrong…

Veronica: I don’t take the high road, Ted. The high road leads to Pansy Town. Ted: Or maybe it leads to a more effective way of handling…

Linda: Hey, sweetie, want to go smoke a cigarette in the bathroom? See? I can be bad. Don’t ever smoke, Rose. Every time you smoke a…

Linda: I can’t stand that Veronica makes fun of me in meetings. If the boss doesn’t respect me, other people won’t. Including the little…

Ted: And, Phil, they canceled your gym membership because no matter what class you were in, you did jazzercise.

Lem: Ted, we need your help. Phil: We were working really hard in the lab… Lem: And we had this pinata… Ted: Pinata? That doesn’t…