Better Off Ted Quotes

Veronica: I know what it’s like to see the ugly face of discrimination. Lem: You do? Veronica: Yes, I do. When I was 16, I was 5’9″ and…

Commercial: Veridian Dynamics. Diversity–just the thought of it makes these white people smile. We believe everyone works best when they…

Phil: This is ridiculous. You have to talk to Veronica. Lem: I’m going to. Phil: No, I mean you really have to. Lem: I’m going to. Phil:…

Ted: It turned out, Don was really a good guy. Linda was right. He was funny and smart. And for some reason, he could name every…

Ted: The system doesn’t see black people? Veronica: I know. Weird, huh? Ted: That’s more than weird, Veronica. That’s basically, well……

Lem: It gets dark whenever you leave the room. Phil: Ohh… how can I get mad at you when you say things like that

Phil: Did you put hydrochloric acid in this mug? Lem: Oh, yeah. I was trying to get the stains out. Phil: You know, soap would work, and…

Phil: Lem, you ever get the feeling the ooplasm cultures are looking up at you, worshiping you like a vengeful god? Lem: No. Cytoplasm…

Linda: Kids. God’s little awkward-moment machines

Narrator: Veridian Dynamics. We’re a family, just like yours. But we don’t waste our time throwing leaves around. We put our family to…