Better Off Ted Quotes

Veronica [to Rose]: You have the most beautiful skin. I wish there was a way I could peel it off your face and attach it to mine. Oh, and…

Ted: I have to watch Rose. Veronica: I can wash Rose. Ted: I said “watch” her, not “wash” her. Veronica: Hmm. Even easier. Ted: The fact…

Linda [to Ted]: I got to go. I gotta meet Don at the Who Cares What People Think Cafe. Where if someone sees something that they want,…

Ted: Hi beautiful. Beautifuls… Rose: Hi, Daddy. Linda: Hi, Daddy. And I’m just never calling you that again

Veronica: Well, you’re always welcome here, daughter of Ted. Ted: Rose. Veronica: I know her name. Ted: Rose’s name. Veronica: You know,…

Ted: Did you even notice I have my daughter with me today? Veronica: I look at people’s eyes when I talk to them, Ted, not at their waists

Ted: You guys have 72 hours to make that taste like something drunk teenagers will tip off… cow.. I’m talking about a cow

Phil: How can I know so much about the bonds of chemicals yet so little about the bonds of friendship?

Lem: Maybe the meat blob’s not taking in enough nutrients. I guess I could try and give it a mouth. Ted: I’m gonna say no to the meat…

Ted: We may have created a monster in the lab Veronica: It’s not a monster, it’s a cyborg that can kill without remorse Ted: I was…