Better Off Ted Quotes

Linda: So not being controlling lasted for about one second? Ted: I’m sorry. The naggity-nag-nag bitchy-bitch is right. Anything anyone…

Debbie: Could you press 10 for me, you rat-face Nazi? Phil: Your breasts should be on display at the Swiss Museum of Miniatures. You said…

Veronica: So I let him kiss me. Linda: Oh, my God! Veronica: But then I still felt guilty, so I let him feel me up. Linda: Oh, my……

Phil: I’m terrible at insults. As a child, I was beaten up constantly. The best comeback I ever came up with was, “You’re right. I’ll…

Phil: We really should have been reading these memos. Lem: Damn! We didn’t have to work on Thanksgiving! Phil: And look! Like I…

Linda: Ted, a little chaos can be a good thing. My grandma met my grandma when a tornado blew her into his barn. He pulled the rake out…

Veronica: Here, I brought you a cake. And a jar of herring. Maybe you can wait until I leave before you smear the cake with it. Walter:…

Lem: And so this new line of meals-ready-to eat gives the soldier in the field a portable meal with all the home-cooked flavor of…

Janet: The company doesn’t make mistakes. Ted: What about that memo announcing “Casual Fribsday”? Janet: The company said that wasn’t a…

Veronica: I do hate this feeling. I hate it like I hate… Linda: Don’t tell me. The Dutch. Veronica: I don’t hate the Dutch. I love the…