Better Off Ted Quotes

Commercial: Veridian Dynamics. Friendship. It’s so important. But it’s different at work. Time spent with friends at work robs your…

Veronica: Sorry. From now on when you present ideas to me, only one of you is allowed to talk. Lem: But that’s not how we work. Veronica:…

Phil: I suppose we could use the 20 terahertz oscillator. Lem: But doesn’t that burn through flesh? Phil: Not always. Lem: How about we…

Veronica: The company finally realized the P.A. system in this building needs to be fixed. It makes everything sound like that janitor…

Ted: I don’t want to insult the guy. If only there were a nice way to say, “You’re killing me, you energy-sucking time gobbler.”

Ted: Every time I walk by the guy, he sucks me into a 15-minute conversation. You do that eight times a day, that adds up to… well,…

Phil: Okay, the bacteria are going for the bait. Insert the nano-grenade. Lem: Did it explode? Phil: Oh, my God. There’s flagella…

Veronica: Now let’s go upstairs and get back to work, for tonight, we dine in Hell!

Ted: So the company backed down on the new hours? Veronica: Mm-hmm. Ted: I/we did it, because I/we stood up for what was right. I/we am…

Perry: But Jenkins was still a great man, right? I mean, you were with him when he helped that killer whale find its way home. Phil: I…