Better Off Ted Quotes

Phil: Lem, I talked to the chef. It turns out that broasting is a combination of, and I quoting, “roasting and get the hell out of my…

Ted: I need to sabotage the sleep system and make sure it’s not finished in time for Relaxacon. Linda: Cool. That’s not sex, but it beats…

Lem: It’s Broasting Day in the cafeteria. It’ll give us another chance to figure out what broasting is. Phil: Well, I do want to get to…

Veronica: If you want to get the company off this, you have to show them that this new pace will cost them money. Because the company…

Lem: Gordon Jenkins was a good man. But he was also a complex man. For example, he liked coffee, but he did not like having coffee thrown…

Phil: I love sugar cookies. When I was a kid, my mom used to make ’em. But instead of sugar, she’d use brandy. And instead of milk, she…

Veronica: Sorry, Ted. The company feels that if we ease up because someone dies, it will only encourage other people to die.

Veronica: I heard about Jenkins’ death. The company feels terrible about it. Ted: People are working too hard, Veronica. We need to slow…

Ted: Morale does seem pretty low. Linda: It’s like that time they paid our holiday bonuses in frozen food. Ted: Potpie Christmas. It did…

Lem: We did it, Ted. We now have a working prototype for the Veridian Sleep System. Phil: All the hard work, late nights and no rest have…