Californication Quotes

Kali: Will you stop calling me a fucking bitch please! Samurai: Come on Ma, I was just peacocking baby. Hank: She is a beautiful woman,…

Tyler: What? You don’t want a man pound? Hank: Not really, especially when you put it that way.

Becca: I’m not twelve, you can’t bribe me anymore. Well you can, but you have to adjust for lifestyle and inflation.

Hank: Some girls are timid and lack focus, but you, you should be in porn.

Charlie: I made myself a promise and I kept it! My heart and cock both swell with pride.

Samurai: I don’t even know a mother fucker’s real name. I just call him Alfred and he snaps right to it.

Karen: He’s like you but awesome.

Charlie: I missed yo black ass! Hank: Later Masturbator.

Hank: I’ve got a kind of bunny boiler situation happening, she’s got a key to my place.

Carrie: It’s just, you fucked me in the ass Hank. Hank: Oh, are we talking metaphorically? Because… Carrie: No, I gave up the butt for…