Californication Quotes

Marcy: I don’t do balls.

Stu: What is it like to stare into the business end of Sandy Bullocks vagina? This woman knows.

Marcy: You’re like a bald Benjamin Button aging in reverse. You’re going to die a big pink quivering Jell-O, baby come on!

Marci: It’s nice to be with a grown up for once. Charlie: I used to be a grown up…once.

Abby: You made your bed, and then you fucked me in it.

Marcy: Don’t blame me because you were born with a clit for a cock and a tiny little beanbag to house what passes for balls.

Hank: So fucking mature that I want to punch myself in the dick. Karen: Do it!

Karen: So what are you the Robin Hood of rapists now?

Hank: I love me some morning sex. Daylight, smelly puss, bad breathe, bring it!

Eddie: It’s about a guy trying to keep it together while falling apart.