Desperate Housewives Quotes

Zach: Ms. Mayer, I am so sorry. It’s just, one pebble wasn’t working, so I tried a whole handful. Susan: Ow, ow. Zach: Look, I’ll make it…

Gabrielle [to father Crowley]: I’d be an awful mother, I’m selfish and I’m self-centered, and only person more self-centered than me is…

Annabel: Yes, Tom and I were in love, but he married you. I’m not looking to break up a happy couple… anyway, that’s certainly more…

Edie: When I feel threatened by a woman, I pull her in, I make her my best friend. Lynette: I thought you said you didn’t have any female…

Father Crowley: You’re pregnant? Gabrielle: Yes and it’s impossible. I’m on the pill which I know you probably think is a sin but it’s a…

Susan: Could you not flirt with the ice cream man? Sophie: Why not? Susan: Do you need a reason besides he’s the ice cream man?

Mary Alice: Yes, life is a journey, one that is much better travelled with a companion by our side. Of course, that companion can be just…

Gabrielle: Carlos cut up all my credit cards. I’m married and I can’t shop which is the worst of all possible worlds

Rex: Can you at least wait until dessert to call our son a sodomite?

Reverend Sikes: I’m sorry — just so we’re clear — are you a heterosexual or aren’t you? Andrew: Look…I love vanilla ice cream, okay?…