Desperate Housewives Quotes

Edie: Hey, how was your big date? Susan: Mike had to reschedule. Edie: Oh. Because of the hot girl? With the suitcase? Over there? Gosh…

Julie: Mom, you’re getting too dressed up. Susan: I know, but I wanna look really sexy. Julie: I told Mike I expect him to have you home…

Mary Alice: Competition. It means different things to different people. In Suburbia, it means keeping up with the Jones’s. On Wisteria…

Woman: So, what did everybody think? Lynette: I thought the character of Madame Bovary was … very inspirational. Woman: Inspirational?…

Detective: The stationary is particle 17, 100% cotton. It is made by Cyprus Office Products. In stores in twelve cities, including yours….

Mike: I know how this looks, but there is nothing between us. Kendra is just an old friend. Susan: Old friend? Mike: Yeah, you know……

Paul: Look, I just want to move this place fast. I’ll do whatever we have to do. Edie: Well, that’s good to know. You do realize that…

Julie: How am I supposed to blend in with a bunch of messed up teenagers? Susan: I dunno, pretend you’re bulimic, gag a little

Susan: How’d you get the fat lip? Paul: The usual way; asking too many questions

Mary Alice: Juanita may have been the gambler in the family, but Gabrielle was the one who knew how to bluff