Desperate Housewives Quotes

Renee: She just kept wearing those parachute pants, lesbian rumors be damned!

Renee: It’s just hard for me to reconcile this suburban housewife with the girl who had a threesome with two of the guys from the rugby…

Mike: If you field this one, I’ll tell him where babies come from.

Gaby: Thank you for sending my husband to prison, Bree. Nice work!

Susan: If you don’t get out of my face, I’m gonna ram this Thigh Master down your throat.

Mary Alice: What about those poor people who are trapped by circumstance? What happens to those who have no choices left?

Orson: I am in a chair, not sure how good I’d be in a fight. This thing tips over in a stiff wind.

Susan [to Mike]: Do you feel betrayed, humiliated? Good! Because I only did this to show you what it feels like when the person that’s…

Carlos: Every time you offer me afternoon sex it’s because you want something, and it’s not afternoon sex.

Carlos: Whoa! Gaby: I know, right?