Desperate Housewives Quotes

Susan: Hi. I’m having a problem with Mike and his male ego. Long story short, can I clog your drain?

Lynette [to Preston]: Try not to take too long because I miss you already.

Carlos [on Gaby’s eggs]: I pay for the clothes it wears, the massages it receives, and the implants it will one day require. If I don’t…

Tom: So, Paris, Prague, Madrid… it sounds like you guys saw everything. Lynette: But you still haven’t told us how you two met….

Mike: Did you just say Katherine is a leprechaun? Susan: Lesbian. Katherine is a lesbian. Mike: Okay. The first one made more sense….

Lynette: Think of a world where the toilet seat is never up! This is our time to take them down!

Gabrielle: I haven’t taken a nap since Juanita crowned.

Tom: How could you forget her birthday? Lynette: I’m pregnant. I forget pants sometimes.

Lynette: Well, in that spirit, as soon as I start chemo, I will be giving up shampoo.

Susan: I just got a lipstick yesterday. You could wear that! Gabrielle: I just paid a make-up artist five hundred bucks to do my face, do…