Desperate Housewives Quotes

(Mike walks into Carlos’ room, Edie is hiding next to the door) Mike: (whispering) So uh… you got a girl in here? Carlos: No, why?…

(Lights are out) Susan: You know, I don’t believe we need a flashlight, my eyes have totally adjusted for the dark. (sound of glass…

Russell catches Edie and Carlos in bed together. Russell: Well, I see you can’t close a sale without opening something else. Edie: Oh,…

Susan: Thanks a lot. Now Maggie thinks you’re Charles Manson. Mike: I don’t care. I love you. Susan: Don’t say that. Mike: It’s true. I…

Edie: No man respects an easy conquest. I make all my men wait. Susan: It’s true, she has a little room with magazines and an aquarium….

Gabrielle: Sorry. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Sorry. I’m afraid Mr. Lang has to take an important meeting in his limo…now. (She…

Mary Alice: Passion. It’s a force so potent we still remember it long after it’s faded away. A drive so alluring it can push us into the…

Andrew: So he is a fat loser, who do you expect to get for $8.50 an hour? Lynette: Well, that’s what we pay you and you seem happy…

Susan: Mike, you saved our lives. (Mike pulls Susan’s cheese out of his back pocket) And our cheese! Ian, can you believe it? Mike saved…

(Victor wants to go to bed with Gabrielle.) Victor: As far as I’m concerned, the chase is half the fun. Gabrielle: Half the fun? Oh…