Desperate Housewives Quotes

Dahlia: Punish the sin, love the sinner. Susan: Yeah, well, with Karl I was more, divorce the ass and seize the assets.

Gabrielle: What kind of orange is this shirt? Like a salmon, or a coral… (Lynette shows her the shirt) Oh…cheese doodle.

(Gabrielle finds a room closet filled with couture clothes.) Victor: Yea, I don’t really know much about fashion. Gabrielle: Shhh.. They…

(Lynette finds an unconscious Tom lying on the floor of the Pizzeria.) Lynette: (crying) Listen to me. I forbid you to die. If you leave…

Gabrielle just agreed to have lunch with Victor Lang. Victor: Great, I’ll take us to Cucina. There’s no place harder to get into….

Tom: Hey, you’ve got a cousin in the limo business, don’t you? Carlos: Actually, I’ve got a cousin in the limo as a front for…

Austin: You won’t return my calls. Julie: Well, I’ve been busy. Plus, my mom caught you naked on top of my friend!

Tom: What about my sex? I always get sex on our anniversary. Lynette: We can still have sex, just try not to wake me.

Nurse: Again, sorry for the mix up. If you could just sign right here. Mike: (looking at the engagement ring that was in his things) I…

Mike: (referencing the night Monique was killed) What do you think the police would say if they knew you were there that night? Orson:…