Desperate Housewives Quotes

Tom: Beer is on the house, guys. Drink fast, get stupid and lose money.

Rex: (narrating) Take a drive down any street in suburbia. Know what you’re gonna see? A bunch of guys wearing the same expression. It’s…

Rex: (narrating) This is Ian. Don’t really know the guy, but Susan Mayer seems to like him. The other night, he surprised her with a…

Rex: (narrating) This is my friend Tom. Have you heard what he’s been up to lately? The silly bastard opened up his own pizza place. He…

Rex: (narrating) Take a drive down any street in suburbia. Know what you’re gonna see? Desperate women. That’s right.. one unhappy…

Rex: (narrating) My name is Rex Van De Kamp. I always hated cemeteries when I was alive. Now that I’m dead, I like ’em even less. Here’s…

Orson: The hotel number is on the fridge in case there’s a problem. Andrew: Actually, we kind of already have a problem. Orson: I’m…

Gabrielle just agreed to have lunch with Victor Lang. Victor: Great, I’ll take us to Cucina. There’s no place harder to get into….

Mike: Was that proposal spontaneous or did you have it all planned? Ian: Oh, it was entirely planned. I thought it would be the ideal…

Lynette: You’re acting like I did when I was six months pregnant. Tom: Excuse me, you were hitting people. Lynette: Only two, and the…