Desperate Housewives Quotes

Mary Alice: (narrating) It was six o’clock in the morning and Bree Hodge was faced with a dilemma familiar to countless housewives….

Edie: Oh Tom please, you’ve checked out my butt enough times to know that I don’t eat pizza.

Gabrielle: A single woman in her thirties. I now have to subscribe to Cat Fancy. It’s the law.

Orson: I had sex with Alma and I wasn’t even conscious? How reminiscent of our marriage…

Gabrielle: You’re pimping me out to a teenager! Susan: Okay, I deserve the pimping remark but let’s not pretend that, you know, we’re…

(Mike sits at the table with Paul, who is reading a book) Mike: Hey… Looks like an interesting book. What’s it about? (He grabs the…

Ed: Hey you got a little cereal right… (points to her cheek near her lips) Lynette: Cereal? I didn’t have any… Oh I know what that…

Gloria: Hey Bree, may I come in? Bree: What’s a garden without a snake?

Bree: (to Gloria) Are those shoes suede? Gloria: Yes, why? Bree: (sprays Gloria’s shoes with the garden hose) No reason.

Alma: We should’ve kept trying. If we had a child, we’d still be together. Orson: I know. That’s why I stopped trying. Goodbye Alma.