Desperate Housewives Quotes

Andrew: Austin’s not gay. Not even after three beers…Don’t ask.

Alma: Bree Hodge? I’m Alma Hodge. I believe we have someone in common.

Alma: (to Orson) So, what is it with you and redheads?

Susan: Did you seriously think I could sit on information that would exonerate Mike? If you had seen his face in jail the other day. Ian:…

Tom: I don’t want you to be afraid to take a firm hand with Kayla. She is part of our family now and.. you know what that means. Lynette:…

Mike: I can’t believe that I just listened to all that stuff Edie told me about you. It turns out you’re the only one standing by me….

Susan: I’m out of lipstick. Can I borrow yours? Julie: Sure. (hands her her lipstick) Susan: Cherry berry? Julie: Austin likes the way it…

Tom: She threw your doll in the trash? Lynette: No, first she ripped off its arms, stuffed it with chili, then she threw it in the trash!

Susan: Is Edie getting you a good lawyer? Mike: I doubt it. She dumped me today. Susan: What? Why? Mike: Well, I was arrested for murder….

Bree: What are you watching? Gloria: Home movies. Bree: It’s fun looking back at the past, isn’t it? Gloria: Well, it’s one way to kill…