Desperate Housewives Quotes

Mary Alice: Susan Mayer had never thought of herself as Cinderella, but then one day… a prince showed up, and Susan realized her life…

Orson: Mother, may I remind you you asked to come here? Gloria: I didn’t know I would be trading one jail for another. At least at the…

Lynette: I am snapping because there is a monster across the street and Barney Fife here is making me sound like ‘the bad guy’. (Lynette…

Ian: (to Susan, clearing a drawer for her) If I can make a room for you in my heart, I can definitely make room for you in my bureau.

Susan: (covering herself up while lying in Ian’s bed) Who are you? Rupert: I’m Rupert, I work for Mr Hainsworth. That would be the man…

Susan: Hey, here’s an idea. You keep some things in a drawer at my house. Would it be okay if I had one here? Ian: A drawer? Do you think…

Gabrielle: (looking in a mirror) I hate this dress. I look like something Ike Turner would hit.

Gloria: (at the dinner table) Dear Lord, I thank you for this bland, indifferently prepared meal and beseat you to ignite some spark of…

Vern: You have been in rare bitch form. It’s been months now, so don’t blame it on your cycle. Gabrielle: Don’t call me a bitch, and stop…

(After, unbeknownst to Susan, Rupert sees her naked.) Susan: Wow! Your timing’s perfect. Rupert: Not always. Ian: Susan will be needing a…