Desperate Housewives Quotes

Tom: You said you’d support me. Lynette: My mistake. I assumed you’d have a dream worth supporting.

(As the cab pulls up) Lynette: Look Susan, God called you a cab…

(After kicking Nora’s front door down) Lynette: Ding dong!

Gabrielle: Can I tell you guys something? Something I can only tell you guys? Susan: Oh god, here she goes again! What grade is he in?

Lynette: I’m a bitch.. with a capital C.

Carlos: You wanna wash my shorts? Gabrielle: I don’t want to, but if you wear them one more time, they’re gonna ask me themselves.

Mary Alice: There is a place in St. Timothy’s church where sinners go to confess their sins. And once they’re done,they expect…

Susan: (drunk) Oh my god! I just thought of something. I’m never gonna celebrate a 53rd wedding anniversary. I’d have to live into my…

Mike: Edie, what were we like together, before the accident? Edie: What do you mean? Mike: You know, were we close? Edie: Honestly? We…

Susan: Ah! That’s nice! So, where were we? Lynette: You were trying to figure out how to kill Edie without doing time. Susan: Oh, I wish…