Desperate Housewives Quotes

Susan: (drunk) Oh my god! I just thought of something. I’m never gonna celebrate a 53rd wedding anniversary. I’d have to live into my…

Mike: Edie, what were we like together, before the accident? Edie: What do you mean? Mike: You know, were we close? Edie: Honestly? We…

Susan: Ah! That’s nice! So, where were we? Lynette: You were trying to figure out how to kill Edie without doing time. Susan: Oh, I wish…

Mary Alice: (shot of Nora alone after Tom left) Sabotage…everyone is capable of it, but some go about it more ruthlessly than others……

Mary Alice: The art of sabotage…it’s practiced every day in the suburbs. (shot of a woman preparing a cake) Sometimes it takes the form…

Bree: Is my daughter alright? Doctor: She’ll be fine. The wounds are very superficial. Andrew: (smirks) So is the patient.

Danielle: (to Bree) When are you going to take me seriously?! Bree: When you start acting like an adult. Andrew: She sleeps with them,…

Tom: I bet you didn’t see that one coming? Lynette: No.. That was a real frisbee to the head, that one!

Carlos: Phil Lopez!…..you brought Phil Lopez?! Gabby: Um-hmm! Carlos: I had no idea you hated me that much.

Bree: Now what were you going to say? Andrew: Well, um…Danielle is upstairs trying to commit suicide. (Bree questions Andrew with a…